Bismillah hir Rahman nir Raheem

This past weekend Ustadha Shamira from Zaytuna came to visit and we got to benefit from her amazing company alhamdulillah. It was a nice change, because we usually talk about how jealous we are of the brothers–they get to sit in the company of so many awesome people and we just have to kind of chill behind the dividers. But this weekend, Alhamdulillah, we got time with Ustadha Shamira =)

I took a lot of notes (which insha Allah I will type up at a later time), but probably the biggest thing I took from this intensive was this hadith:

“The gaze is a poisonous arrow from among the arrows of Iblis (Shaytaan)”

I never really paid attention to the whole “lower your gaze” thing because in my mind, that is for the brothers. To be honest, I really don’t think I have ever in my life looked at anyone with “lust”—and I guess when I always heard things about lowering your gaze, it seemed to talk about looking lustfully at something. I am sure this is somewhat societal, but I guess I just assumed men are wired totally differently, and that when we look at someone of the opposite gender, its all halal and good–but that when men look at women, its 100% always haraam and so *they* need to lower their gazes, but our gazes are glossed over in halalness–like the moisture in our eyes is composed of zamzam or something, and that we don’t need to worry about lowering our gazes because our gazes are 100% pure and zabiha :p Apparently, I was very wrong.

Ustadha Shamira described the properties of poison–how it is confined at first and then spreads and destroys everything around it. And so if that poisonous arrow hits the heart, what does it do? It winds up literally poisoning the entire heart.

I came home and read up on the hadith and read some commentary on it as well, mostly because the idea of girls being haraam the way boys are haraam intrigues me haha. I just can’t imagine a girl looking at someone lustfully! When I see a brother, I think “that’s nice shirt, mashAllah!” ( but only if it is, in fact, nice!) and I always assumed that’s how all girls think.

Anyway, so I read some scary stuff. For example, there was one commentary which mentioned how the person one has looked at becomes as an idol is for the heart to worship. Subhanallah. How true is that. Especially once we start “liking” a brother—at that point it’s like, he can do no wrong. If he has a giant zit the size of the Grand Canyon on his face, we are like “MashAllah! That is the most BEAUTIFUL zit I have ever seen!!! That zit has SO MUCH NOOR on it! That zit is straight from JANNAH!” For real. Girls are so crazy.

But it’s so scary how accurate that commentary was…because while brothers may look with lust more often than we do, we probably allow our hearts to make idols of them 100% more often than they do. And so even though yeah…we’re not looking lustfully, our gazes can lead us to a very different path which is equally as bad.

So yeah..in conclusion: girls are haraam too. (this was news for me, I’m not kidding.)

P.S: I have a new favorite nasheed: www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8DMn3MptkU

mashAllah. =)

This was narrated in Dala’el Al-Nubuwa for Imam Abu Nu’aim with isnad including Imam Bukhari and Imam Ibn Khuzaina. Once the prophet (salla Allahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) was sitting in a room with Aisha and fixing his shoes. It was very warm, and Aisha looked to his blessed forehead and noticed that there were beads of sweat on it. She became overwhelmed by the majesty of that sight was staring at him long enough for him to notice. He said, “What’s the matter?” She replied, “If Abu Bukair Al-Huthali, the poet, saw you, he would know that his poem was written for you.” The Prophet (sallaAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) asked, “What did he say?” She replied, “Abu Bukair said that if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for everybody to see.” So the Prophet (salla Allahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) got up, walked to Aisha, kissed her between the eyes, and said, “Wallahi ya Aisha, you are like that to me and more.”

::dies::

Bismillah hir Rahman nir Raheem

Insha Allah I can properly express the thoughts passing through my head, and if any sisters read this, I hope that it is of some benefit. I hope that it helps us all give our entire heart and entire soul to Allah.

I think a woman’s heart differs from a man’s in that women do not compartmentalize–we are capable of focusing our hearts and minds on only one thing at a time. There are things in both the deen as well as real life to support this. For example, men are permitted to have four wives. I realize there are reasons for this beyond what I am attributing to it, but fact is, men *can* be attached ot multiple things and people. Men are able to create little “boxes” in their mind—if they are upset about X, they can still focus on Y. Women, on the other hand, generally cannot. Our brains are not compartmentalized. Our emotions can not multi-task, while men’s emotions can. A man can have a fight with his wife and be genuinely upset about it, yet still go out with his friends and laugh. A woman cannot. It all makes sense when you think about it, because Allah put things in the fitrah of a man that are suitable to aide him in fulfilling his duties as a man, and things in the fitrah of a woman that aide her in doing likewise. Can you imagine if men couldn’t compartmentalize? If a man getting into a fight with his wife was unable to set those emotions to the side and be totally capable of completing all his other responsibilities, we would be in trouble. Similarly, women were created as emotional beings–not only that, but we are extremely loyal. Allah put this amazing ability to love in us–subhanallah–I sometimes wonder if brothers can even dream of feeling the kind of love we do. And why? Because we are meant to be mothers.  Allah’s design is perfect.

Anyway, so I have been thinking (because that’s what I do haha) about how sometimes, girls develop crushes, which is natural. I mean, Allah put it in everyone to be attracted to the opposite gender–and true we are supposed to lower our gazes, but sometimes it is the deen and piety they see in a brother that draws them to him, not anything else.  But I think that initial act of being drawn to someone, when it turns into what we can call a “crush” is something that signals trouble in the heart.

As a woman, we are able to only devote ourselves fully to one thing. Once an attachment to a non-mahram forms in the heart, it’s hard to imagine how we can keep that love of Allah in the same heart. It is something against our nature. So slowly, our love and devotion to Allah and Rasulullah (saw) starts sliding..because it’s much easier to develop an attachment to something that is physically infront of you than something that is not.

And then…we worry about what that person thinks about us–we worry about our place infront of him, when instead we should be worrying about our place infront of Allah. We worry about if he would like us, when in reality there is nothing more important than Allah liking us and being pleased with us. We think about him, when our minds should be occupied with Allah. Every beat of our heart should be “Allah, Allah” and yet it’s not, because we have allowed shaytaan to convince us we are attached to a man that has absolutely no relation to us whatsoever.

I have been thinking a lot the past week about the idea of “liking” someone, and how personally, it is something that only happens to me when I am struggling with the deen. It’s amazing, because the minute my heart re-aligns with Allah–the minute I am overwhelmed with love for Him–anything I thought I was attached to disappears.

When a woman loves her husband, it is a reflection of her love for Allah. Because loving him is a means to pleasing Allah, and so in effect, loving one’s husband is just an extension of loving Allah. And so we are fully capable of being devoted to Allah and being devoted to our husbands, because in the end, devotion to your husband is devotion to Allah. But when there is a non-mahram man–that feeling has nothing to do with Allah. We can be initialy drawn to a brother for the sake of Allah, but when that respect and admiration is a “crush”…..

..that’s when shaytaan starts pushing Allah out of our hearts.

Subhanallah…we were created with such characteristics that if we focused them in the right place, we could be amazing servants of Allah, insha Allah. If we loved Allah with all that he put in us…wow. But unfortunately, we are so easily distracted. You know…I wonder sometimes what the point is in wasting time and energy and emotions–things that are so sacred–on a guy that 2 years from now, you may not even remember his face anymore.

What will that 6 months of attachment do for us in the akhira? What will it even do for us in the world? Imagine if every second we spent talking about that brother we have a crush on was spent talking about Allah. Imagine if all the praise we shower on the brother was praise we showered on Allah. Imagine if every time we thought about that brother, we instead thought about Allah. Imagine if every time we worried whether or not he liked us, instead we worried about our place infront of Allah.

I am not saying we shouldn’t be interested in people for marriage. Everyone has to get married :p But there is such a thing as being interested without investing emotions. I think as sisters, we need to save all our love for Allah–every shade and every hue of it.Our hearts and our ability to love is a blessing from Allah–it is something that makes a woman a woman. Why waste that? And what is a crush other than a grey shade of love?

I’ve realized that a heart that is in love with Allah is incapable of being in love with, or even being infatuated or having a crush on, a non-mahram man.  Insha Allah I hope that Allah gives all of us sisters stregnth in our imaan–and that He makes us realize the value and sacredness of the emotions we feel–and that we focus them towards the only One deserving of them. Insha Allah, Ameen.

Sister Sanaa said something to me, and it has stuck with me. She said “No one is worthy of a woman’s soul other than Allah and Rasulullah”

How true.

So it was 12th Rabiul-Awwal, and there was a mawlid at my house. Doa planned the whole thing and did an amazing job mashAllah. She did this really cute thing with index cards where she put traits and characteristics of Rasulullah(saw) on index cards and we each had to read one. It was really sweet–and as we read them I was like dying (in a good way). Just hearing about him(saw)–like you know when you feel SO much love for someone and are just like ::faint:: (I bet nobody ever thought they’d see that used to express love for the Prophet-saw huh haha) But seriously…everything about him…

I always remember a story about Hadrat Aisha(ra). One day Rasulullah(saw) was sitting with the sahaba (ra) and Hadrat Aisha thought “let me earn some bonus points” (ps: this is why I love Hadrat Aisha the most. When I read stories about her…she seems so innocent and silly in way–no disrespect intended–and I almost feel likeI can relate to her. When I read about some of the things she did I am like “wow that sounds like my brain.”–I wish I were alive at that time so I could be her best friend. And if I go to Jannah, insha Allah I hope I can be her best friend in Jannah.I hope I can sit and sip iced tea with her on Thursday mornings and discuss how awesome our Jannati husbands are–hers more awesome than mine, obviously.) In any case, she decided to earn some bonus points because you know..feed the husband and his friends and you def earn some bonus points. Everyone knows that   So she made food and took it over to where they were sitting. When she got there, she saw that one of the other wives had already beat her to it and she became REALLY jealous and picked up the vessel of food the other wife had bought and smashed it onto the floor, breaking the dish. She then stormed away.

A few things.

1. I LOVE her! She’s such a girl Love Love Love <3 May Allah grant her the most beautiful of all He has to offer in the akhira. And may he make us among her company. Ameen.

2. Let’s just think about for a second if a wife did that today. The guy would be like “woman, you will find out when I get home!”–because think about it,  a guy would feel so insulted in front of his friends that his wife did that. They would be MAD.

And what did Rasulullah(saw) do? The man that was most deserving of having pride? He bent to the ground and picked up the mess. Then he said to the sahaba(ra) “Do you see how much my wife loves me? If she didn’t love me to such extremes she would not have gotten jealous to such an extreme? So don’t think bad of her–this is just a reflection of her love for me.” MASHALLAH!!!

And then, when he(saw) got home, he did not fight with his wife. He did not get angry with her. Instead, he simply gave the other wife Hadrat Aisha’s dish because Hadrat Aisha(ra) had broken hers, so he(saw) needed to replace it.

When his wife reacted in such a way, he saw good in it. He saw love and appreciated it. He didnt decide she is crazy and fight with her and yell at her for insulting him and embarassing him in front of his friends. And this is a man that had every right to do all those things, because he was the most Beloved of Allah. And then there are men today..men that can not even compare to one fingernail from Rasulullah(saw) hat have so much pride and so much of an ego that they can not even tolerate a sad face from their wives. They can not listen to a single complaint. They can not take weaknesses which are in the fitrah of a woman such as jealousy and turn it into a source of pride for themselves.

That is my favorite story about Rasulullah(saw).

Also, today we were reading about how he would eat the meat off of a bone from the same place as Hadrat Aisha(ra)..sip from the same part of the glass…mashallah =)

I pray that Allah makes all brothers (and sisters) reflections of Rasulullah (saw). Ameen.

Hi Nida =)

A lot of people warned me before becoming a Philosophy major. There is apparently a widespread misunderstanding that Philosophy classes destroy one’s imaan. I find this interesting, to say the least. I think it ultimately depends on what kind of a person somebody is, how his or her brain functions, etc. If somebody says “The chair is white,” my thought process will be long and winding after that. I will think it to death..I will analyze every letter in that sentence and find a way to logically connect it to the existence of Allah. Somebody I knew once knew used to joke that I will die early because of how much I think. I may just have to agree with that haha. But yeah…so my brain being what it is (no off switch. I swear I even think in my sleep it’s so annoying. I wake up and have all kinds of ideas.), I love being a Philosophy major. Every time we have a discussion about something abstract I am so blown away by the power of Allah. His Oneness. His perfection. Subhanallah.

Last week, we were discussing numbers. If this world did not exist, would numbers exist?

If you think about it, we go through our day to day lives not realizing that literally EVERYTHING around us is a creation of Allah. We tend to think in the shallow sense..the trees, the animals, and us. But what about fear? What about all emotions? They exist. Anything that exists is a creation of Allah. And even when you think about emotions–Subhanallah, even emotions are a flawless creation. To the point that they can be studied, they can be classified and grouped into phases. There are phases to grief. These are classifications that hold true across the board. Each and every human being going through grief passes through the same phases; it’s not like some people experience it and others don’t. When one is happy, the same basic effects can be seen in every single human.

Allah says in the Quran that there are signs in the world for those who reflect. Subhanallah, the more you reflect the more signs you see. Something that on a day to day basis we don’t even necessarily acknowledge as a “creation,” per se (emotions), is still so systematic and perfect that it can be studied. Allah has made this entire world one big sign. The people back in the day–He provided for them miracles as proof of his existence. Their minds were not the same as ours—they needed miracles to believe something. But today, we live in a scientific age. We need science to back up everything–if we saw a miracle, we would likely dismiss it. But once something gets proven by science, everyone is sold. This world was created once and yet in it are the proofs for everyone, since the beginning of time–those from thousands of years before as well as those alive today. Will there ever come a point, do you think, that people will realize “Wait a second..even emotions are systematic. Emotions can be broken down and studied scientifically–how  can ALL of this possibly be a coincidence? How could the earth colliding with something have created such perfect systems within all of it’s existence?” When do you think people will need the answer to the question “Where did emotions come from?” They can come up with all kinds of theories of evolution to explain away every animal and plant. They can come up with big bang theories and whatnot, but where is the explanation for the rest of creation? The things that aren’t even necessarily tangible.

Like numbers..and the number system.

Numbers are a creation too. What numbers stand for are a creation. The fact that they can be multiplied and divided–Subhanallah. The fact that there exists square roots and divisibility. Allah’s place above us can not even be fathomed. The fact that Einstein and Newton and all those other geniuses–the ones that we think of as the smartest–could only have the intelligence to *discover* how certain creations of Allah worked together. What about the One that created it all? Subhanallah.

So we were discussing the number one. If it weren’t for humans–if only rocks existed, would the number one exist? If every human disappeared from the earth right now and aliens dropped down and just looked at our world, would the number one exist? Would they see a cookie as one? Or would they see a cookie as multiple things together? Because everything in this world can be broken down into more than one thing. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but as humans, maybe numbers are too. We see a table and think “One table.” Yet an alien could see that same table and see that one table as many things–because it is made up of legs, screws, pieces of metal, wood. Even when you get down to the single piece of wood, it is made up of billions and billions of molecules. We see an individual human as one person, and yet one person is also made up of billions of cells. Everything in this world can be divided.

Other than ALLAH. Allah is the ONLY true “one” in this world.

Kind of makes me see Surah Ikhlas in another light. I remember my Quran teacher telling me the meaning of the word “Ahad” and how it means “the One, undivided”–amazing how we read that surah almost on a daily basis in our prayers and we say it robotically and even though we believe Allah to be One, we never truly think about how he is the Only One Undivided. He is the only One in this universe. The number one can not be used to validly and without exception describe anything other than Him.
Subhanallah. The greatness of Allah…makes my head spin.

I wish things could be different.

I wish a lot of things.

Yeah so I was just reading the entry I had posted on December 26th about marriage and I was SO amazed at how far we can come emotionally in such a short amount of time. Subhanallah.

 As I was reading, I remembered all those emotions I had, and it felt like a distant memory. It’s like…I have forgotten what I felt, and reading about it is the only way for me to even know those feelings ever even existed. And I really don’t know exactly what happened but I am suddenly not that girl that wrote that post anymore. I’m not scared of marriage the same way. I feel like I am actually moving on emotionally from the trauma of it, and resetting. Seeing that post made me realize that as time passes, it *is* getting better. Alhamdulillah.

oh, and ps: I dont think I hate men anymore. No clue when THAT happened, but it did!

I have so much to say! And no time to say it! ahhh.

 I wish we could like, speak into this little machine while driving and then it automatically types what we said and uploads it to our blogs. How awesome would that be.

So tomorrow is the inauguration. I’m pretty excited. I hope insha Allah Obama can live up to expectations. What I find kind of hilarious is the fact that Israel is saying they will be out of Gaza by the time Obama is sworn in. Is it just me or does it seem like they struck a deal with Bush before starting this whole thing?

In any case, wanted to share this hadith(I stole it off my friend’s gmail status. Im a little delinquent, I know.)

Umamah al-Bahili reports that the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said, ‘’A group of my community will remain on truth, they will vanquish their enemy and those who disagree with them will not be able to harm them until Allah commands.” “Where are these people?” the companions asked. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] replied, “in and around al-Quds [Jerusalem].” [Musnad Ahmad]

Subhanallah. Amazing, huh?

May Allah grant our brothers and sisters victory. Ameen.

On another note, I’m fairly irritated with Governer Patterson for taking forevvvvvverrrrr to announce who the next Senator will be. I mean, come on now, everyone knows he already made up his mind. What’s with all this waiting? Stretching out our time in the limelight, are we? Annoying.  I’m kind of thinking what to do if it ends up being Caroline Kennedy. We were told that after Hillary becomes Sec of State we can just stay and work for whoever takes over, or we can go over to Schumer’s office. I’m not necessarily all that interested in working for Schumer. I may, however, stick around for Kennedy, just because that would make one hell of a letter of recommendation for Law School. Sneaky, I know =)